Wednesday, March 26, 2008

My bad mood

How do you deal with anger? I'm not usually an angry person, but this week that emotion has brewing right under the surface quite a bit. I don't know what to do about it. There are some people I usually talk to about my problems, but I feel like they are getting tired about hearing the same old, same old from me. Almost a feeling from them like "if you aren't going to do anything about it, then stop talking about it." The problem is that I'm not a confrontational person. Especially when it comes to people I am close to. How do I tell them what they are doing is really bothering me without totally hurting their feelings? To me it's sometimes better to just let it go because you know anything you say is just going make them angry. But how is that helpful to me? Why do I have to keep my emotions in check? Why can't I tell them what's on my mind? This week I start to feel these emotions coming to the surface to only have to push them back down again. I get really quiet, and so people get offended by that. How do I tell them the real reason? "Sorry, I can't talk right now because I just might start yelling at you and never stop!" UGH. I need to stop keeping this bottled up inside. The really sad thing is that as I'm typing this, I could just burst into tears and have a good cry. I won't let myself though. I think I'm just going to go home and sit and play with little man for a while and realize what a blessing he is to me....sometimes the one bright spot in my day.